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A Woman Is No Man: A Novel, by Etaf Rum
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Amazon.com Review
An Amazon Best Book of March 2019: Newlywed Isra thought life would be different when she immigrated to America from Palestine, but her dreams were quickly dashed. You’ll need to steel yourself the more you delve into Etaf Rum's penetrating debut novel A Woman Is No Man, which follows Isra’s journey, and that of her daughter Deya. The clash between dual cultures creates much of the drama, as Deya tries to do what her mother ultimately couldn’t--break free from their family’s violent, misogynistic past and forge her own path in life. While A Woman Is No Man is a rallying cry to resist patriarchal strictures designed to keep women in ‘their place,’ it is also a love letter to books and their transformative power. Reading was one of the only comforts, and acts of rebellion, that Isra enjoyed, and she had a particular affinity for literary heroine Scheherazade: “For a thousand and one nights [her] stories were resistance. Her voice was a weapon—a reminder of the extraordinary power of stories, and even more, the strength of a single woman.†It’s the harnessing of that strength that sets Deya, and this family, free. --Erin Kodicek, Amazon Book Review
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“What is a woman’s life worth? This question echoes across countries and generations through Etaf Rum’s intense debut novel…. The narrative draws links between economic desperation and discord in the home [and] also touches on the legacy of violence passed down from the Israeli occupation of Palestinian territories…. A Woman Is No Man complicates and deepens the Arab American story — a tale as rich and varied as America itself.” (Diana Abu-Jaber Washington Post)“Sometimes heroism is loud and dramatic. Other times, it is daring to listen to that quiet voice within and have the courage to follow it. In this story, we see inside the lives of three generations of Palestinian women living in America, struggling and suffering to hear that voice. Etaf Rum has done a great service by sharing these voices with us.” (Shilpi Somaya Gowda, author of SECRET DAUGHTER and THE GOLDEN SON)“Garnering justified comparisons to Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns... Etaf Rum’s debut novel is a must-read about women mustering up the bravery to follow their inner voice.” (Refinery 29)“A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum is a stunning debut novel that hooked me from page one. With the utterly compelling characters of three Arab-American women, Rum accomplishes the high-wire act of telling a story that feels both contemporary and timeless, intimate and epic. This is a novel you devour in a few precious sittings, that you press into the hands of friends and family, that lingers in your heart and mind long after the last page.” (Tara Conklin, author of THE LAST ROMANTICS)“A richly detailed and emotionally charged debut.” (Kirkus) “A Woman Is No Man, bold as a drumbeat, banishes the repressive silence that haunts Isra and her spirited daughter, Deya. This tender tale of women soldiering through a barbed world is a clarion call and a work of literary bravery.” (Nadia Hashimi, author of THE PEARL THAT BROKE ITS SHELL and A HOUSE WITHOUT WINDOWS)“First-time novelist Rum’s setting… is rare: a Brooklyn Palestinian enclave in which reputation matters above all else…. The daughter of Brooklyn Palestinian immigrants, Rum was often told ‘a woman is no man.’ Overcoming her fear of community reprisal, she alchemizes that limiting warning into a celebration of ‘the strength and power of our women.’” (Booklist)“Through well-developed characters and a wonderfully paced narrative, [Rum] exposes the impact that the embedded patriarchy of some cultures can have on women while showing more broadly how years of shame, secrets, and betrayal can burden families across generations no matter what the cultural or religious affiliation. Highly recommended.” (Library Journal, starred review)“Etaf Rum’s A Woman Is No Man is a shattering, revelatory tale of immigration, womanhood, and the cyclical impact of violence and oppression. In her unflinching story of both loss and hope, strewn with enthralling, vibrant characters, Rum has accomplished the extraordinary: a tale that bridges the domestic and the global, memory and future, the old world and the new. A spectacular debut.” (Hala Alyan, author of SALT HOUSES)“A gripping portrait of three generations of Palestinian women whose narratives are heartfelt and unsettling. Rum writes with tender sensibility, creating characters with layers of complexity and depth. She gives these women what they most desire and deserve: a voice.” (Frances de Pontes Peebles, author of THE AIR YOU BREATHE and THE SEAMSTRESS)
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Product details
Hardcover: 352 pages
Publisher: Harper (March 5, 2019)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062699768
ISBN-13: 978-0062699763
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1.1 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
32 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#2,266 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
As an American girl, marrying an Iraqi man a bit older than myself, in the early 1960's, I saw many degrees of these attitudes and behaviors portrayed in this book. I have to say, despite the battles it took, we had 45 years of relative happiness and a great family. I also enjoyed the familiar Arabic words and things they ate. We all loved the delicious Arabic food my husband made. There are so many great qualities in these people. It's difficult to think that this was and is the way some of them still think!!!! Anyway, thank you, Etaf. P.S. They can be convinced otherwise.
I love reading about other cultures. This book made me feel the main characters. I had so much empathy for these women. I also thought the ending could not have been done any better. Perfect.
I can't imagine living a life of such restriction and abuse. Being a woman in many parts of the world is a liability and a handicap. When did men decide this? When did it become shameful to be a woman? Women were celebrated and revered, idolized in some civilizations. Extremism in any society is dangerous. I give tremendous kudos for this author for shedding light on this belief that women are disposable beings. It's a terrible reality. A reality that should be fought against through education of both men and women in the Islamic/Muslim world. I find light in this author's courage to tell it. I find abundant courage in all women who tell this story.
I absolutely loved this book. It brought so many tears to my eyes. Yes a bit repetitive in the dialogue of the characters. But I thought the author was so brave to speak about the injustices that Arabic women go through. As a woman you can't help but to just sympathize. I personally hated the ending but overall it's a raw, heartfelt beautiful story.
This was a tough read from beginning to end.Be prepared to meet Isra and immediately be introduced to the depressive condition that is her life—written in its raw, unapologetic, and wholly frustrating form.I despised everyone.Everyone.Isra’s mother for her enabling of her daughter’s submissions, Fareeda for her role in keeping Isra in a state of stagnation, Khaled for resigning himself to a role he would come to champion for his useless sons ...just ...ugh!All of them made me want to break stuff.The fact that the book speaks to ideals based within the Arab culture didn’t change my perspective on these characters: I still despised many of them and kept waiting on them to be something more than enablers and abusers.I guess I’m too Westernized to read something like this because I simply couldn’t forgive Isra’s resignation.At all.Again, I understand the book is meant to show how restrictive life for a woman can be within the Arab culture, but a lot of what happens to Isra felt, at times, like willful ignorance/downright stupidity.She couldn’t get out of her own way. It was as if she decided the devil she knew was better than the one she didn’t—no matter the hell she was currently living.The writing itself was great. Rum understood where she wanted to go with the story and each one of her characters.In the end, my issue with this book was accepting a world where women are painfully irrelevant; to the point they’re driven to tragic extremes to find anything resembling true freedom.That was too big of a pill for me to swallow—no matter what truth it’s based in.
{My Thoughts}What Worked For MeA Mother/Daughter Story – A Woman Is No Man is a big, big story. It’s about an entire culture and how that culture looks at women. And, it’s about that culture’s expectations for women and what can happen when those expectations aren’t met. Most of all, it’s about women struggling to find their own voices within that culture and escaping the culture altogether. Through mother, Isra, and daughter, Deya, we see the very harsh realities of the Palestinian Muslim culture fighting to remain unchanged even after having been transplanted into Brooklyn.“Where I come from, voicelessness is the condition of my gender, as normal as the bosoms on a woman’s chest, as necessary as the next generation growing inside her belly. But we will never tell you this, of course. Where I come from, we’ve learned to conceal our condition. We’ve been taught to silence ourselves, that our silence will save us.â€Isra comes to America as a young bride, newly wed to a man she barely knows. Deya, the eldest of her four daughters, was born an American, but experiences none of the freedoms other American women take for granted.“It wasn’t her fault she wasn’t Arab enough. She had lived her entire life straddled between two cultures. She was neither Arab nor American. She belonged nowhere. She didn’t know who she was.â€The balance between these two women, the back and forth stories of Isra and Deya were at the heart of A Woman Is No Man. Through mother and daughter the reader comes to know the culture and the pain of being female in world that places supreme value on men, whether they deserve it or not.Developing Mystery – I hadn’t expected there to be a mystery within A Woman Is No Man, but at the heart of the story that’s exactly what I found. When we first meet Deya she’s in her last year at an all girls Muslim high school, and the process of finding a husband to marry her off to has begun. Deya wants to go to college, but that’s not even a consideration in her family. As she takes small steps to fight the confines of her life, Deya’s thoughts turn more and more to Isra who died when Deya was only 6. Deya’s memories of her mother are few, but even so the stories she’s been told don’t quite add up and Deya begins a quiet quest to learn more. How exactly did her mother die and why did she always seem so sad and distant toward Deya? This mystery, played out from both Isra’s and Deya’s storylines, became the core of Rum’s story.Fareeda – A third woman, Fareeda, plays a very big role in A Woman Is No Man. Fareeda is the mother of Isra’s husband, Adam. From the moment the marriage takes place, Fareeda demands sons for Adam. As Isra delivers daughter after daughter, her value in the family grows smaller and smaller, even to other women. Fareeda was harsh, even cruel to Isra, and though kinder to Deya, she still would not even consider her granddaughter’s wishes. Fareeda was an easy character to dislike, so I appreciated that in Part II of the book, Rum introduced us to Fareeda’s perspective. She upended some of my opinions about Fareeda. It didn’t make me like her much more, but the life she had endured at least made me understand her a little better.“She had known, even before seeing the mournful look on his face, that he would be disappointed. She hadn’t blamed him. The shame of her gender was engraved on her bones.â€What Didn’tDevaluing of Women – Though at the heart of the culture and key to the story, the treatment of women in A Woman Is No Man was hard to stomach. Isra regularly suffered physical and mental abuse at the hand of her husband, while everyone else in the family turned a blind eye. The relentless pressure to produce a son and Isra’s dismissal as a person of worth when she did not felt heartless.Isra Herself – Though I felt very sad for Isra, I also grew weary of her long-suffering, self-defeating thoughts. I realize that she was raised to NOT place any value on herself, but her constant helplessness and hopelessness grew too repetitive. I felt like her many insecurities were beat into the story over and over.{The Final Assessment}For the most part I liked A Woman Is No Man very much, especially the first half of the story. By the second half, I’d grown a little tired of all the suffering, and just wanted to get to something more positive happening. Thankfully, that did occur. I only wish there had been a few more bright spots along the way. Grade: BNote: I received a copy of this book from Harper Collins (via Edelweiss) in exchange for my honest review. Thank you!
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